»a matrix joke I created«

Neo comes to a restaurant and orders soup. After a while a waiter brings him the soup. Neo searches something on the table and then says: "There's no spoon."

danielsoft wrote:

Neo comes to a restaurant and orders soup. After a while a waiter brings him the soup. Neo searches something on the table and then says: "There's no spoon."

I liked it

danielsoft wrote:

Neo comes to a restaurant and orders soup. After a while a waiter brings him the soup. Neo searches something on the table and then says: "There's no spoon."

Hehe pretty funny. Did anybody see Constantine? It was so awesome, I can't wait for the sequel. The movie or any other movie that Keanu makes will never match up to The Matrix, but this movie was incredibly sweet!

quite a good joke there.

LOL, great joke. Specially because of Keanu's voice and the way he wouldve said it, just makes it funnier.

In oracles apartment.

Oracle: And don't worry about the wase.

Neo: Ok I won't.

Oracle: No seriously don't worry about THE WASE.

Neo: OK I WON'T.

Oracle: AAHHHH YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO TURN AROUND AND KNOCK OVER THE WASE!.

Neo: Ok why didn't you say so (neo turns around and knocks over the wase).

Oracle: NOT NOW STUPID AHHHH! (she throws cookies at him).

Neo runs out of the kitchen.

Morpheus: What happened?.

Neo: She is wacked. What colour was her pill?.

LOL, I can imagine that. Its funny to see old people angry.

good one was well yip

yipman wrote:

In oracles apartment. Oracle: And don't worry about the wase. Neo: Ok I won't. Oracle: No seriously don't worry about THE WASE. Neo: OK I WON'T. Oracle: AAHHHH YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO TURN AROUND AND KNOCK OVER THE WASE!. Neo: Ok why didn't you say so (neo turns around and knocks over the wase). Oracle: NOT NOW STUPID AHHHH! (she throws cookies at him). Neo runs out of the kitchen. Morpheus: What happened?. Neo: She is wacked. What colour was her pill?.

LOL That is absolutely HILARIOUS!

these arent really funny but if u saw them in the movie they might be...

1.(begin of m1) The phone that trinity answers while the truck is coming at her is a telemarketer.

2.(m2)
Seraph: first i must apologize
Neo: For what?
Seraph: For this (kicks Neo)
Neo: oww! BITCH! (shoots Seraph in the head and moves on)

3.(m3) At Zion, the assault force is only 2 sentienels (they get MOWED DOWN by all the ground fire)

4. (m3) The Hammer is coming towards the gate, barely clears it, then flies out the gate on the opposite side, they all die.

or

The Hammer's EMP just doesnt work.

5. (m1) When trinity jumps out of the chopper, holding on to the rope that Neo is holding, she SLAMS into the side of the building and slides down. (makes horrible screeching sounds because of the leather/latex....and yes she SLIDES for 300 ft.)

6. (m1) The Deja Vu scene with the cat repeats 97 times.

Anubis1441 wrote:

6. (m1) The Deja Vu scene with the cat repeats 97 times.

that one made me laugh, i could just see neos blank confused look trying to figure it out...

*cat walks by*
neo-hmm, a cat
*cat walks by*
neo-whoa....deja vu
*cat walks by*
neo-whoa...deja vu...whoa deja vu...wait, that was deja vu twice, deja vu vu? deja dej...
*cat walks by*
neo-huh? deja vu again, but that was just deja vu! is this a dej...
*cat walks by*
neo-i dont...i dont get it...
*cat walks by*
neo-damnit!
*cat walks by backwards*
neo-whoa, backwards deja vu...
*cat walks by*
neo-hey, whats your name kitty?
*cat walks by*
neo-here kitty kitty
*cat walks by*
neo-damn stupid cat
*cat walks by*
*morpheus pulls out a gun and shoots the cat*
morpheus- stop that neo, now come on, its just a damn cat!

excellent one there allone

I'ts like the "lines you'll never hear in the matrix" thread, only not washed-up

i got a good one

[M3]
Oracle: Smith is you opposite, your negative

Neo: wait, then should'nt he be a women? like in tru calling?

Oracle: of course not, Neo! you're the women...

lol

The burly brawl. Neo resists Smith trying to copy him and they are about to start fighting. Neo: Whoa guys wait a minute. Before we start fighting I have something to say. All Smiths: What?. Neo: I heard him saying that you're mother is a toad and he said about you that you should shower more often and he said that you and you are having super kinky gay sex and he said that you sit at home eating bon bons and crying when watching the bold and the beautiful. Neo sits on the bench with some popcorn and enjoys a nice brawl then flies off.

that smith only fight would be cool.

Anubis1441 wrote:

these arent really funny but if u saw them in the movie they might be... 1.(begin of m1) The phone that trinity answers while the truck is coming at her is a telemarketer. 2.(m2) Seraph: first i must apologize Neo: For what? Seraph: For this (kicks Neo) Neo: oww! BITCH! (shoots Seraph in the head and moves on) 3.(m3) At Zion, the assault force is only 2 sentienels (they get MOWED DOWN by all the ground fire) 4. (m3) The Hammer is coming towards the gate, barely clears it, then flies out the gate on the opposite side, they all die. or The Hammer's EMP just doesnt work. 5. (m1) When trinity jumps out of the chopper, holding on to the rope that Neo is holding, she SLAMS into the side of the building and slides down. (makes horrible screeching sounds because of the leather/latex....and yes she SLIDES for 300 ft.) 6. (m1) The Deja Vu scene with the cat repeats 97 times.

Yo #1 is absolutely lol funny!

Interogation room.

Smith: I see that you have been living two lives. In one life

Neo: (Coughs) foureyes.

Smith: Did you say something?.

Neo: Uhh no.

Smith: Ok then as I was saying

Neo: (Coughs) dork.

Smith: WHAT DID YOU SAY?.

Neo: Nothing.

Brown and Jones start laughing.

Smith now with tears in his eyes: You always laugh at me when I try to be cool and stuff why do you do that?.

Brown: Because you are.

Jones: A sissy.

Agents start fighting and Neo walks out.

In bathroom M1. Morpheus: And you are?. Smith: Smith, agent Smith. Morpheus cracks up and starts laughing. HAHAHA! oohh James bond wannabe huh. Smith: Certainly not, I don't even like those movies. Morpheus: Yes you do HAHAHAHAHA! you,re such a geek. Smith: STOP LAUGHING. Morpheus: Or what? you're gonna pick a cool gadget and kill me HAHAHAHAHA!. Smith walks out crying.

LOL

both great and funny yip.

Heres 3 more of mine..

A.(m2) When the SUV with the twins is coming at Morph, he turns to cut the wheels, but the twins swerve and SLAM him.

B.(m2)
Woman: She didnt kiss you on the lips, dear.
Mer: Well she didnt gimme a BJ, i lost my penis is a horrific hair drying accident 6 years ago. (boating accident might have been funny too )

C.(M2) During the Rave...either
1. All the Zionites do the Robot

or

2. The music is "the Safety Dance"

D.(m1) Tank screams "WAZZZZUP" everytime he answers a call.

ya i think thats all im shaming this site with.

Anubis1441 wrote:

1.(begin of m1) The phone that trinity answers while the truck is coming at her is a telemarketer. 2.(m2) Seraph: first i must apologize Neo: For what? Seraph: For this (kicks Neo) Neo: oww! BITCH! (shoots Seraph in the head and moves on) 3.(m3) At Zion, the assault force is only 2 sentienels (they get MOWED DOWN by all the ground fire) 4. (m3) The Hammer is coming towards the gate, barely clears it, then flies out the gate on the opposite side, they all die. or The Hammer's EMP just doesnt work. 5. (m1) When trinity jumps out of the chopper, holding on to the rope that Neo is holding, she SLAMS into the side of the building and slides down. (makes horrible screeching sounds because of the leather/latex....and yes she SLIDES for 300 ft.) 6. (m1) The Deja Vu scene with the cat repeats 97 times.

This shit is funny...especially the Deja-Vu scene.

All you are GOOD

Why can´t you make a BOOK of this kind of jokes?

Sophia Stewart eats so much, she saw a yellow school bus full of white kids and yelled "STOP THAT TWINKIE! "

looks_comfortable wrote:

Sophia Stewart eats so much, she saw a yellow school bus full of white kids and yelled "STOP THAT TWINKIE! "

LOL!