»Lines you'll never hear in The Matrix«

Just post some humorous things that Matrix characters would never really say. Here are a few to get you started:

Oracle: Oh great, it's my rival: Miss Cleo.

Architect: I am the Architect. I created the Matrix.
Neo: I thought Sophia Stewart did.

Morpheus: I think Cypher might of had a point. The food here is rather poor.

Neo: I should have listened to John Zerzan when he said technology is authoritarian.

Neo: "Ah! So that explains everything in the plot!"

Yaldaboath wrote:

Neo: "Ah! So that explains everything in the plot!"

hahaha...thats great

hoe about

morpheus:fancy a threesome with me guys

neo and trinity:um...ok...why not...but we will have have to go into the matrix cause neo has a really tiny knob and he'll have to use his "residual self image"

morpheus and trinity laughing and waving their little fingers at neo

Neo: why did you freed me from the matrix?
Morpheus: because i believe you're The One, Neo.
Neo: really? what about you, guys?
the other neb crew (speaking at the same time): yah...sure...why not?...of course...go Neo...
trinity: you're number one...
(everybody laughs their eyes out)

Smith (interigating): Did you know that the first Matrix was designed to be a perfect human world. Where none suffered. Where everyone would be happy. you know the design, just like i did
(Smith Spins a TV screen infront of Morpheus)
Morpheus: No...no...NO!
(the TV Screen shows beverly hills 90210)
Morpheus: NOOO!

Smith: you look surprised to see me again, Mr. Anderson, that's the difference between us. I've been expecting you.
Neo: no, the difference between us is that i have a life, and you just stalk me.

lol

Genius posts

Black screen, green text.
Morpheus: OMFG n30 J00 r TEH \/\/u|\|!1111
Morpheus: 3y3 \/\/I11 S|-|0w j00 IRL
Neo: (I hate these twelve year old AOL using hackers) ¬_¬

Agent Smith: Maybe I should run for president. If Bush can win, so can I.

Neo: Ah, it's Smith and he's taking over everyone, like Microsoft.
Link: I don't know if I'd say Microsoft, no wait, you're right, definitely Microsoft.

Morpheus: Wait, why am I glad? Neo's dead and the Matrix still exists, meaning that the human race isn't free, yet.

Merovingian: Trains are obsolete. I think I'll fire the Trainman and hire the Spaceship man.

Morpheus: The Matrix exists to turn humans into this(holds up battery)
Neo: You mean it's like capitalism.
Morpheus: Oh, no. He's a commie.
Neo: Automomous Marxist with some mutualist influences, actually.
Morpheus: At least you are taking the truth about the real world better than the nother people people I freed.
Neo: Wait, did you say we were being used as a power source?
Morpheus: Yeah, that's basically what I said.
Neo: Stop! Let me out!

After morpheus explaines all about the matrix to Neo
Neo: wow cool!
Morpheus: oh, yah, i forgot. The matrix has also hide you from the truth about yourself
Neo: what?
Morpheus: the machines plug a splinter into your brain, but not from your head.
Neo: so from where?
Morpheus: your asshole
Neo: so that means my brain is in my....

Neo: It ends tonight.
Smith: I wouldn't say that. The Wachowsky brothers could always end up making another sequel or something.
Neo: You wish.

Oracle: Defeated, Smith must be to save Zion. Only then, a true One will you be.

Morpheus: You are a slave. Like everyone else, you were born into bondage.
Neo: Whoa, that sounds kinky. So the world is ruled by a dominatrix?

SMITH - "Another Smith you saved me"

Another Smith - "It was inevitable"

SMITH - "Another Smith, will you marry me?"

Another Smith -"It would be my pleasure"

SMITH -"Another Smith will you have my babies?"

Another Smith - "It would be my pleasure and yours"...

Merovingian: I actually prefer !Xóõ over French, but since it was spoken only in one small part of southern Africa, almost no one has heard of it. While French doesn't have any click consonants, it's still one of the coolest languages.

Smith: It's fun to stay at the...
Smiths: Y-M-C-A!

That is quite funny but if you continue to make derogatory comments about Smith, you will leave me with no choice....

The humour lies in the juxtaposition between Smiths character in the film as a strong masculine man and a stereotypical flamboyantly homosexual man.
It is funny because it is a massive role change that is unlikely to occur. The title is "lines you will never hear in the matrix" so I think it wasn’t a direct insult to Smith, if anything it was reaffirmation of his status as a iconic super villan.
=P

*Scene just as Neo dies- the real world*
~Neo has made the ultimate sacrifice to create peace~

Deus ex machina: KTHXBYE

Smith:Mr. Anderson....we missed u....
Neo:What r u talkin about man, reloaded was just a few months ago

As morpheous jumps though the wall in M1

Morpheous: Ah..
Breaks though
Morpheous: fuck that hurt look at my bruise
Smith: Yeah does it hurt when i do this?
*pokes it*
Morpheous: ah you fucker that realy hurt!

1.Oracle:Look into my crystal ball

2.Link: Why cant i get one of those fancy glasses?

Now...Who is making derogaratory comments about Smith?

And which Smith are we talking about?

Smith is the best...leave him alone...GET IT?
GOT IT?
GOOD!

No need A.S, i have already assesed and dealt with a situation, it was a minor misunderstanding, but next time i would not be so forgiving

Apoc: No, Cypher, don't kill me! I didn't get any character development or anything.

BaDboYDC_101 wrote:

No need A.S, i have already assesed and dealt with a situation, it was a minor misunderstanding, but next time i would not be so forgiving

Why thankyou my friend *Straightens Tie*, you are now a fully fledged Agent in my Agency...Just one thing, don't let me down

Quote:

Just one thing, don't let me down

What do you think I am, human? *straightens tie*

agent brown:they got out

agent smith:like...yeaahh...but youve just GOT to do something about those awful shoes...and those sunglasses...OH MY GOD...those are like...ssooo 1980's

Why the need to constantly straighten your tie?