»First Post: Greetings & My own M3 Idea«

Good evening everyone, my name is Marcdaniel and this is my first post here; hopefully more will come.

As with I presume everyone here, I am a Matrix Fan. I won't go in to complaining about Revolutions, I've done enough of that after viewing it; we either liked it or not but either way, we're all still here talking about it or the Matrix as a whole.

After I was disappointed with what I believed were unanswered questions, I decided to write my own ending; just to satisfy my own sanity. A few friends and I got together and re-watched Matrix (which I thought was only as good as the energy I put into it: No energy or thought, shallow - lots of energy and thought, very fulfilling), and also Matrix Reloaded (which I personally thought was amazing (not only the FX, but the story and what some call babble; I thought was fantastic) - it really blew me away and gave me personally some fillers for the blanks in number one). Anyways, we watched and jotted down notes as I'm sure many other fans have done previously... then we put down ideas and I put it into a story which I would like to share with other fans; regardless of whether it's liked or hated, I simply would like to share it with some other fans and talk about the ideas.

...which lead me to this site. I read the introduction and thought this was the right place to come to share it. I do hope I'm right.

I'd like to thank you for reading my post and I hope to get to know some of you better as I post more often. The link to the story I have written is:

users.bigpond.net.au...

Feel free to have a read of it and let me know what your thoughts are.

Is there anything that I missed (excluding anything from ETM)?
Anything I can do to improve upon the story/my writing style?
Any Suggestions?

If I have stepped out of line in this forum by posting the above link, please let me know and I'd like to apologise ahead of time. I know how some forums are about posting links to your own sites.

Thanks again, will talk to you all later on. Take care.

Yeah, Its shite.

Ooops, sorry. Actually I've only read the teaser, looks ok but a bit holiwoody. Revolutions is perfect how it is, you can't write something better no matter who you are!

Why does everyone want to rewrite Revolutions?
I really am dumbfounded.

LEAVE IT ALONE - IT WAS PERFECTION!

Well there is a tinsy little thing I'd change actually..

I WANT SMITH BACK..Seems like I'm having one of my tantrums YET again..

It's not fair DAMMIT..

hungarian kid wrote:

<snip>

Good afternoon hungarian kid.

Hmm... The teaser doesn't do it justice and in my opinion it's certainly not holiwoody - but I respect your opinion.

In your opinion Revolutions is perfect how it is, but what about exploring other ideas? Your last statement I disagree with though. I believe there are many who could have.

Thank you for your time: I do wish you would have read it before making an opinion on it though, it seems a bit unfair.

Another Smith wrote:

<snip>

Good afternoon Another Smith,

It's probably because those rewriting it found it to be not all they were expecting. Nothing dumbfounding about that in my opinion.

I understand from reading other posts you've made that you felt it was perfect - but I didn't, hence the reason I did the above and came here to talk about it.

Question: Did you read the story I wrote in it's entirety before commenting?

If not, do you think that's fair?

~

If people are going to comment without reading, then perhaps I did come to the wrong site... I hope not because it seemed like a pretty nice and open place to exchange thoughts and ideas.

Oh well.

Thank you for your comments and I hope to chat soon.

marcdaniel, I'm going to be totally honest with you; I didn't read your story. I've read so many alternative Revolutions, I have them coming out of my ears....BUT.. You are right about this site, and I've given myself a good telling-off *showing you slapped wrists*.

I'm downloading it now as I type..I will read it tomorrow because it's getting a little late here in the good old UK.

I will post my opinion tomorrow, my friend. Can't say fairer than that!

Another Smith wrote:

marcdaniel, I'm going to be totally honest with you; I didn't read your story. I've read so many alternative Revolutions, I have them coming out of my ears....BUT.. You are right about this site, and I've given myself a good telling-off *showing you slapped wrists*. I'm downloading it now as I type..I will read it tomorrow because it's getting a little late here in the good old UK. I will post my opinion tomorrow, my friend. Can't say fairer than that!

Hi again Another Smith.

Please don't misunderstand, I don't mean to offend anyone at all.

I also do not expect everyone to like it; infact, I'm hoping some people hate it so they can discuss the story points with me - it's the only way I'm going to improve my own story telling.

I do understand Revolutions is done, it's over, it made it's money and it's satisfied and disappointed a lot of people. There is nothing we can do about it but accept it. But this shouldn't stop up from all sharing ideas and alternatives

I completely understand about having the stories coming out of your ears. Truly I do, I was Mod on another forum and can empathise with you. One just needs to remember that new comers are always coming. I for one don't wish to not come back here because no one wants to talk about Matrix things. LOL

Please don't read it if you feel forced to. Don't rush either, if you have more pressing things in the offline world to attend to, please do.

I eagerly await your thoughts on the story and suggestions and comments as well as getting to know who 'Another Smith' on this forum is.

Thank you for your time.

marc, I've sent you a PM..Go read it..

Post you tomorrow..Goodnight

Another Smith wrote:

marc, I've sent you a PM..Go read it.. Post you tomorrow..Goodnight

Already have, and replied.

Cheers, have a great sleep.

Damn your so politcally correct. I'd ask who you think has the patience plus the knowledge of a plafora of religions to write Revolutions better. Ofcourse there are great writers in history who could've done it ( J.R.R Tolkien etc) but there all dead & Tolkien was a Mythologist & brilliant geologist. Andy & Larry Wachowski pulled it together brilliantly & if you where dissapointed with Revolutions & Reloaded, try watching them again. but don't think of what it could've been. You can do that with any movie, just see it how it is, and try to appreciate the great religous suttletys & the fantastic almost believable plot. I mean, its a work of art. As soon as Neo got blinded, I was like "YES!" & when Trinity died I was like "YES! THEY CONTINUE TO IMPRESS!" Trinity ruled but because she dies near the end of the movie doesn't mean people should be pissed off. I continually hear people complain about how she dies, but why do people not think about what she died for, & the chances of her dieing where pretty high any way.

I have read a few alternates to Revolutions, and theyve all been crap & holliwoody. I'll read yours & comment on it later.

Good evening hungarian kid.

hungarian kid wrote:

Damn your so politcally correct.

I try to be fair and give credit where credit is due.

hungarian kid wrote:

I'd ask who you think has the patience plus the knowledge of a plafora of religions to write Revolutions better. Ofcourse there are great writers in history who could've done it ( J.R.R Tolkien etc) but there all dead & Tolkien was a Mythologist & brilliant geologist.

And I'd answer, 'I do and I did.' But there are many people in the world, and I'm sure most would agree out of the population from the globe, there would be more than a vast handful that would have the knowledge of various religions that could write Revolutions better, not only those long gone.

I'm not re-writing Revolutions - I've scrapped it and written a new third chapter completely.

hungarian kid wrote:

Andy & Larry Wachowski pulled it together brilliantly & if you where dissapointed with Revolutions & Reloaded, try watching them again.

I believe Andy & Larry did pull number 1 and 2 together brilliantly too. I never once said I was disappointed with Reloaded; quite the opposite infact. However, I was disappointed with Revolutions.

As for watching them again: I have, multiple times and I always come to the same conclusion so telling me to watch them again is no good. I'm not going to magically connect dots which don't exist; instead, I'll create the dots which don't exist and rewrite it altogether... and that is all I've done.

hungarian kid wrote:

but don't think of what it could've been.

Why not?

I think, therefore I am. Of course I'm going to think of what it could have been; especially with the amount of effort, layers, subplots the first two built up. I can do nothing but think of what it could be: I'm human.

hungarian kid wrote:

You can do that with any movie, just see it how it is, and try to appreciate the great religous suttletys & the fantastic almost believable plot.

You can, and I do. I see it for what it is. I appreciate the religious elements and plot and there is the problem. The plot in my opinion was lost on Revolutions.

hungarian kid wrote:

I mean, its a work of art. As soon as Neo got blinded, I was like "YES!"

As was I. I too was like 'Yes!' but I was also like, 'That's all they're going to do with the Bane character? Surely not...'

hungarian kid wrote:

& when Trinity died I was like "YES! THEY CONTINUE TO IMPRESS!"

That's where we differ. I knew prior to her death that they were going to kill her - and no, noone informed me before I saw the movie. It was just too obvious. She was placed into a situation where they couldn't really get her out of, and so, she must die and we'll cover it in the illusion of dying for a greater cause. That's what I thought, that's what happen: she died. No surprises for me there. Predicable.

hungarian kid wrote:

Trinity ruled but because she dies near the end of the movie doesn't mean people should be pissed off.

I'm not pissed off. I never said I was pissed off that she was killed off near the end of the movie. It doesn't bother me in the slightest that they killed her character off, what bothers me is that it was too predictable (in my humble opinion) and not well written in to the plot (what little plot there was (again, in my opinion)).

hungarian kid wrote:

I continually hear people complain about how she dies, but why do people not think about what she died for, & the chances of her dieing where pretty high any way.

You'll not hear me complain about them killing her off as I've already said, I knew it was going to happen before it did due to her situation/location. Yeah we can read it as she died for a higher cause and all that, but that's just not how I saw it. If she some how made it out of the situation she was in and then died, then maybe I'd believe it.

hungarian kid wrote:

I have read a few alternates to Revolutions, and theyve all been crap & holliwoody. I'll read yours & comment on it later.

I believe I haven't holliwoodised it, and I naturally don't believe it's crap. It may certainly not be what everyone likes; and that's good. I look forward to your comments on it later on. Hopefully there's ways/suggestions on how I could improve my writing style/flow of paragraphs etc, and if you like the story, that's a bonus.

Thanks for your time hungarian kid, I appreciate your canda and look forward to chatting with you some more.

I just dont understand why you made the Kid the One. Please elaborate

For those reading this thread, SPOILER WARNINGS are now in place. If you haven't yet read the story I wrote, reading the above post, this post and below will ruin it for you.

Akshat Gupta wrote:

I just dont understand why you made the Kid the One. Please elaborate

Good morning Akshat Gupta.

Because there was so much focus on him.

Animatrix focused on his ability to awaken from the Matrix with pure believe in Neo.
Reloaded focused on him running after Neo like a puppy dog and knowing when he's arrived. Also put a couple of scenes in with him, one I noted was the delivering a spoon to Neo Scene: So it made sense to me to elaborate on this and put a reason behind this as well as the greater plan the oracle has (which is all put in to the story I've written).

So that's my reasoning and it still makes sense to me. I can't see him not being the one.

Okay, but then explain to me this. If Neo is not the One, then what explains all his abilities shown in the matrix throughout Reloaded. They are above normal.

Akshat Gupta wrote:

Okay, but then explain to me this. If Neo is not the One, then what explains all his abilities shown in the matrix throughout Reloaded. They are above normal.

You read the story in it's entirety?

Because Neo is a program. He's been programmed with these abilities.

He's been updated by code in candy and code in cookies and then majorly updated by the doctor scene.

Allrighty then.

I thoroughly enjoyed reading your story..as you are already aware.
It did seem to hit upon many of the theories that were circulating before the release of Revolutions. Well done my friend.

You all know me pretty well, so now listen, go and give this story a once-over, I think you will be pleasantly surprised.

Think about all the theories we discussed before the release of Rev's...
You won't be dissappointed, I promise.

Thank you Another Smith. I appreciate your honesty.

There are a couple of bumps I've had to rethink about after being here - which is really what I wanted so I have obviously obtained the goal I set out on - Ironing out bugs. LOL.

Of course, it's only one theory and we all know it's not possible because Revolutions and Enter The Matrix are out and release and that's that.

but, it's still, in my humble opinion, a good read and some nice fun.

THanks again A.S.

----

[Edit]

I just had a scarey thought: I flashed back to what 'The Anomaly' said in the other thread.

I have to be careful with you A.S.

----

Serious A.S. getting back to my first posts question:

"I am still in the process of editing (mainly some spelling and grammar) the final chapter afterwhich I'll re-upload it. Feel free to have a read of it and let me know what your thoughts are."

What are your thoughts on the story: Things that need more explaining, plot holes, areas it falls down, additional things it needs to think about and address (Excluding anything seen in ETM or M3).

Cheers

Hello my friend..
I really enjoyed your story so much I'm going to read it again.
I usually have to read something a couple of times before I can start making serious comments on it.

I will let you know my thoughts as soon as I can...
From Smith Fan to Smith look-alike(!)
Mm..mm..mm..mm..mm..mm..mm !

Another Smith wrote:

Hello my friend.. <snip>

Thanks C.

At least one person has read it in it's entirety and bothered enough to post about it. I thank you for your time and energy.

BTW, the final chapter has been uploaded with edits and fixes.

Thanks again, I look forward to your thoughts on it.

Cheers for now.

Marcdaniel wrote:

Another Smith wrote: Hello my friend.. <snip> Thanks C. At least one person has read it in it's entirety and bothered enough to post about it. I thank you for your time and energy. BTW, the final chapter has been uploaded with edits and fixes. Thanks again, I look forward to your thoughts on it. Cheers for now.

Ok I have read all of the Chapters to your ending Marcdaniel and here's my reply: Where in the hell were you when the Wacho. Bros were writing Revolutions? They sure as hell couldn've used you. Now I wrote two alternate endings myself and thought that they were fairly good in their own right. At leaste I tried to stick with the direction of the plot and bring a closure to what was supposed to be a closer and also trying to add somewhat of a twist or two. But my endings can't even come close to yours.

If I would've seen what you wrote take place in the movie I would've left the theater saying "hell Yeah now that's a kick ass trilogy." You see I never view trilogies as seperate indepentent stories but as a continuation of one long story so the plot must build and fit together in some form or fashion. It's ok to have twists and turns but they must eventually come together to make sence when the story is viewed as a whole.

Congrats my friend for an outstanding job and Kudos to your proof readers and those who helped you along the way.

Thank you for the ending that should've been there in the first place.

Take Care

Ron

Along with plot twists, I think the Matrix did quite well. I think the W-Brothers tried to veer away from your cliched family ties twist or revenge twist (ok so Smith tried to killed Neo, I guess he had some kind of vendetta but he also wanted to destroy everything) , it was more directed at the reality of life and the twists were those that would most likely happen in the real life situation (e.g. Trinity dieing & Neo being blinded.) Star Wars was good with its family ties story because it made sense, but watching every starwars ep besides 5 & 6 is a torture for me because there so crap.

I had no idea Trinity was going to die, I saw the movie the day it came out so I had no one to ruin it for me. Everyone knew one of the three main characters was going to die but I was bent on believing it was going to be Morpheus, I have no idea why. Also, Revolutions plot was a continuation of Reloaded so I don't see them as seperate movies but as one, the way there supposed to be.

Sorry Marcdaniel, still havnt read your story. Havnt had any time but I promise to read it and get back to you one of these days.

Good morning Ron, how are you today?

Thank you for your reply, I appreciate your kind words. Do you mind if I post it as a review?

Is there anything within the story that you think I should elaborate?

Once again, thank you for your kind words and I agree, I too wanted to see this type of closure within a trilogy. I thank you for taking the time to read my alternative ending.

Cheers!


[edit]Ron, where abouts are your two endings? Am I able to read them?

Good morning hungarian kid, how are you today?

hungarian kid wrote:

<snip> Sorry Marcdaniel, still havnt read your story. Havnt had any time but I promise to read it and get back to you one of these days.

No problems hungarian kid, I just hope you are able to throw your mind back to before you saw Revolutions and then read it without hoping to see elements of Revolutions within it. Yes, there is a war and mechs, we knew this was coming in M2 though.

I look forward to reading your thoughts on what I could do to improve the story as well as what things I could add or elaborate on.

Thank you for getting back to me hungarian kid, I appreciate it.

Cheers for now.

[edit] I would like to know what the site admin thinks about the story. Thoughts, suggestions....etc[/edit]

Marcdaniel wrote:

Good morning Ron, how are you today? Thank you for your reply, I appreciate your kind words. Do you mind if I post it as a review? Is there anything within the story that you think I should elaborate? Once again, thank you for your kind words and I agree, I too wanted to see this type of closure within a trilogy. I thank you for taking the time to read my alternative ending. Cheers! [edit]Ron, where abouts are your two endings? Am I able to read them?

First of all yes you may use my reply as a review. Secondly, I would not change a single thing you wrote. I would've love to have seen on screen just what I saw in my head when I read your extremely detailed finale. If you're getting slammed by your ending it's going to be for one of three reasons: 1, They have not thoroughly read your complete ending for it is lengthy but is worth the read. 2, They are people who shouldn't be in this particular part of the forum because as hollow as the Wacho Bros. ended Revolutions these people are content with it. and 3, They have written their own ending and are to proud to give credit where credit is due. They must protect their ego's and feel that is dimishes themselves in admitting the plausibility that your ending out does theirs.

I have written two alternate endings in the "What I would like to see in Matrix 4 (and how I would rewrite Matrix 3)" forum. The first one was titled "and Ending that does not destroy Revolutions" in which I was pretty much ripped to shreads over it with people calling it "Stupid" and "Too Disney" Then I wrote another called "A not so Disney Ending" In which the response was kinder but basically it was said to be just as "stupid" as my first Alternate.

The way I feel about those responses is "oh well" Because I thought them to be half way decent not masterpieces. Hell if I could write a masterpiece such your ending I'd persue a crareer in screenplay writing or novel writing. BTW is what I think you should seriously consider doing I can even offer you advise on how to get your writings out to the pros.

Yeah my endings didn't hold the intriging elements found within your story but I can claim something that the Wacho Bros. can't : I adequately ansered all the questions that they had left open and did it in two completely different ways and then you did it in a third different way proving this one fact: It could've been done by the Wacho. Bros. But it wasn't. So my question then is WHY? I'll tell you why becuase a 4th Matrix. They're not done milking this cash cow yet.

I'm in the entertainment business....I know how it works....there is still lots of money to be made off of the Matrix franchise machine.


A 4th Matrix? I don't believe it to be a matter of belief....it is inevitable.


Best of luck to you and continue to harness and master your craft of crreative writing and make sure you express to all of those devoted friends of yours for their time, energy, and committment to your task for they are to be commended as well because things that are truly fantastic usually occur when people pull together as a team and work colllectively.


Ron Huffman